How do you like your mole? Skinned or Smoked?

There’s a tale about my mother that I don’t believe. Her brothers say that she caught a mole in the backyard and skinned it. This doesn’t make any sense for many reasons one of which is because my mother is a wuss. I’m sorry Ma Bunn, but it’s true. My mother doesn’t like animals. She cringes when dogs or cats come up to her. She can’t handle mice and even made a deal with my dad in the 70s that she’d change all of the kids’ diapers if he took care of mice. The deal stuck. My mom pawned all the gross housecleaning chores on us kids and has basically been living the life of luxury that allows her to never get her hands dirty.

My dad’s quite the opposite. He doesn’t like to work unless he’s guaranteed to get grease or dirt on his pants. It’s just the way he is. He fixes fences, pool pumps, pipelines, house wiring, etc. He’s the handyman who can essentially do everything and it’s awesome. Today, on my way home from lunch with a friend, I caught him in a new role. He smoked moles out of their holes. It’s weird. I know it’s weird, but I was fascinated. Who else can say that they got to “help” their dad smoke out moles today? (If this is at all against the law, I claim that I didn’t help at all. But they sell the stuff at the regular store so I’m pretty sure that I’m safe.)

Now to the point. How to kill a mole in its own environment:

1. Clear out the hole, at least the dirt piles over the hole.

2. Light the bomb thingy that is designed for getting rid of moles, gophers, and other pests.

3. Put the bomb in the hole.

4. The bomb will start to smoke and you need to immediately…

5. Cover up the hole with a sign, piece of wood, etc. before you cover up the cover with some of the dirt from the hole.

That’s the gist. I wish there were better ways to get rid of moles and I’m sure there are, but I enjoyed the strangeness of what happened in my backyard today. It was entertaining for sure.

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