Chicken versus Gnome

Who would win in a fight? A chicken or a gnome? You think this is a weird question. I don’t. There is a chicken that continually digs a hole in the dirt patch underneath my window. After someone tried to break into our house a few weeks ago, I got nervous and started to listen for any noise outside the house. There was quite a bit of wrestling for a few nights in a row and I realized that it was in fact, just the stupid chicken. If my choice to be a vegetarian had ever stuck, that would change now. Take today for example, I was walking to my car before going to town and… crap! It was in a pile right next to the Cruiser’s door. Gross, chicken, gross. I took a letter opener out to the Cruiser to help get an old sticker off of the window and put the new one on. I wanted to take the letter opener and stab the chicken. You know why? I’d put one of my gnomes in the whole to keep the chicken away. I’d filled the hole with dirt and leaves and the gnome was supposed to scare the chicken and keep the peace. The chicken didn’t care and she kicked the gnome over and dug another hole right next to the old hole. Are you kidding me, chicken? Get a life! Move on! Leave my gnome alone.

I’m sure to some, this isn’t a big deal. To me, it is. Chickens are now my least favorite animals. They deserve to be eaten. No joke.

And now for the evidence.

Here is the hole with the knocked over gnome.

And here is the chicken that’s trying to hide from me so I wouldn’t wring its neck.

Harumph!

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