Rest In Peace, Sir Twinkie

My mom is a funny lady. One of her best jokes is about the really, really fat lady who went to the doctor for a physical. The doctor was lifting up her rolls to check her skin and he found a twinkie. She gasped, said, “I wondered where that was,” and she opened up the wrapper and ate it. This is the grossest story I’ve heard. Well, that and the creepy dream I had of my sister giving birth the other day.

The point of the story was that one, if you get too fat you go crazy and two, twinkies will always taste good whether they’re fresh, squished, or a few years old.

Well, thanks to facebook, I found out that twinkies are dying. Granted, I think the things are gross and I haven’t had one since grade school, but since I’ve seen all the articles online about the death of dear twinkie, I almost want to run to the store and buy a box and have a wake with some Oregon wine and Frank Sinatra as guests.

When I read the first post, I didn’t quite get it.

My cousin Kristine was one it. I wasn’t. Ok, I thought. Whatever, Kristine. I moved onto other updates.

But then today in Nampa Public Library, I saw this.

One of my favorite chick-lit authors, Emily Giffin, is on it. What is going on? I wondered as I started to bing the news. (I have switched from google to bing just to change things up a bit, plus Chandler Bing is one of my favorite fictional characters OF ALL TIME!)

I quickly caught on to the death of dear twinkie.

Here’s what I saw first.

You’ve got to love Huffington Post.

And then I went onto this.

And this.

It’s such a strange thing. You’d think that the junk food would be going out of business because Michelle Obama’s fight against childhood obesity was actually working, but instead, it’s because of a strike. But perhaps it really is the result of healthy eating. If people are in fact eating healthier, there’s no way a manufacturer like Hostess can stay in business.

Still, I think I might go out and buy one last box of twinkies. I won’t eat them all myself. No, I’ll feed them to my two-year-old niece and my pregnant sister. They’ll be like that girl on J.J. Abram’s Revolution, enjoying two full cartons of ice cream after the power shut off. That is, if the people of Nampa have left any twinkies on the shelf. For some reason, I imagine that this news is going to boost sales of these gross products even more in the next week or so. The main dish for Thanksgiving dinner will not be turkey, but a wrapped up twinkie. Families will bow their heads to pray and thank that American icon for the years of weight issues and stress relief it has provided. Yes, I think I should purchase a package for the Bunn family Thanksgiving. It’ll definitely make for a memorable experience.

Tata for now.

Rece

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Rest In Peace, Sir Twinkie

  1. Pingback: Twinkie pulled a Tom Sawyer on us. He’s back! | Peanut Butter Girl

  2. Pingback: Five Bites of News for this Monday Eve | Peanut Butter Girl

  3. Pingback: PBG’s 2013 in Review | Peanut Butter Girl

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s