I did laundry the other day. I picked up a sweatshirt to put in the basket when I saw it. It was huge. I screamed. I grabbed my phone, threw the sweatshirt on the ground and ran out of the room. I texted my sister who was asleep with her husband upstairs. “Giant spider in my shed! Don’t think I can go back in there!” I was breathing heavily. I was not going back. I posted to facebook, mainly to see if my brother saw my post.
Me: Big yellow and black spider in my shed. Am freaked out! Now I know what’s been making disgusting scratching sounds throughout the night!
Shane: The scratching noise is made when they sharpen their fangs.
I’m not a freak, people. This is totally normal. Spiders are of the devil and we’re not talking about the fun devil, but the fiery going to steal your soul kid of devil.
The spider was never killed. Shelli did come down after a while. She grabbed a Kleenex and rolled her eyes at me. She tried to get me to walk into the shed first but I made her lead the way. We couldn’t find the spider. It ran away and hid. I know it’s in one of the corners, getting fatter and waiting for its moment to strike.
FYI – In case you missed it, I don’t like spiders. I choose to be prejudiced against these sick creatures and no amount of schooling or counseling will stop this.