On Fridays, I decided that I’m supposed to blog about a night out or food. Well, I’ve blogged about nights out and I’ve written plenty of Yelp Reviews to help out with this, but I haven’t really delved into one of my favorite subjects in life: food. Not just any food, we are going to talk about two types of food that come from the same genre, meat. They are: ham and turkey.
I love ham. That’s one of the reasons I always liked Christmas better than Thanksgiving. On Christmas, my parents would fix both ham and turkey: ham because that’s what my mom’s family had growing up and turkey because that’s what my dad’s family made when he was a kid. Well, I always loved the honey-baked ham. It was sweet meat that you could actually eat when it was pink without worrying about getting sick and starting to act like the animal that sacrificed its life for your meal. Only recently I found out that my brother Shane doesn’t like ham. What? You ask. My favorite oldest brother doesn’t like ham? How is that possible? I honestly have no idea. I would say that this revelation made him go down a few notches in my book, but it doesn’t. He’s just too cool in other ways that his meat preferences can’t drag him down.
I suppose it would be unfair to judge him for his taste in food if I ever want him to respect my hatred for turkey. Yes. I hate turkey. I don’t like it. It’s not the thing I look forward to on Thanksgiving. Rather, on Thanksgiving, I look forward to my father’s vegetable medley and the green bean casserole. Turkey and leftover turkey just doesn’t appeal to me. When Ross gets all pissed in that episode of Friends when someone at the university eats his “moist maker” sandwich, I laugh but then I think, “a gooey turkey sandwich has been removed from my lunch bag. Yippee. Now can I have five bucks to go get some Greek yogurt for the next week?” We all have our priorities, right?
Now, some people try to make gross turkey meat seem tastier by mixing it with brie and cranberries on delicious bread. Well, my friends, you’ve ruined perfectly good cheese, fruit, and bread if you do that. I’m not even kidding. I’m a turkey hater. But I eat chicken. I know, it doesn’t make sense, but the thing you’ve got to know about food and people who eat food is that each person has a different set of taste buds, experiences, and prejudice that influences the choices they make when they put edibles in their mouths.