I have two sisters. These two sisters used to not like one another. If I’m totally honest, I don’t know if either of them liked me either, but we’re not getting into that today.
So my two sisters and I shared a room for eleven years. I was born in 1983 and Shanna graduated high school and left for college in 1994 – that’s how that math worked. Our rooms were never big. We had a few rooms because as army brats, we got moved to and fro every now and again. We were lucky in 1989 though. Our parents moved to their house in Dayton, Oregon where they have stayed ever since. In that house, the three of us girls shared the back bedroom. Shanna claimed half of the room (As oldest sister, she assumed it was ok to get half of the room and half of the closet. Plus she didn’t have to share a bunk bed with either of us.). Her FFA ribbons lined the closet doors and she worked hard to make that room represent her personality. I thought Shanna was cool so I copied her by putting my church participation ribbons on my half of the other closet door and I’d even get my mom to put my hair up in side ponytails like Shanna had. Shanna liked this; it was fun to have an unofficial fan club as a younger sister. Shelli didn’t wear her hair like Shanna. She also hated Shanna’s ribbons and would hang up her C-average report cards on the closet door just to irritate the perfect oldest daughter. Shanna knew that Shelli disliked her and there was at least one time that I remember her showing it.
The three of us were in our room for the night. Shanna pulled out a deck of cards and made a formal announcement invitation for me to come off of the top bunk and play cards with her. I squealed a yes and rushed down the bunk bed. Shelli was laying on the bottom bunk with her back to Shanna, pretending to be asleep. Shanna whispered to me that we needed to be quiet and then told me how glad she was to be just teaching me because I was such a willing learner. Shelli stayed still.
As I look back on our childhood sister time, I have random memories of things like this: times when Shelli and Shanna had power struggles, my dog-like obedience to Shanna, and eventual difficulties I had with Shelli once Shanna left because what middle sister would want to be friends with the baby sister who had always favored the eldest.
Luckily, relationships change. You don’t have to always play the same role in a relationship. You can adapt. You can change how you act so the relationship will be healthier. Sure, you could change in a negative way, but when it comes to my sisters and I, for the most part, we’ve learned to adapt in the good way. We had to, because if we didn’t, having sisters wouldn’t be any fun.
Tata for now.